Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Miscarriage Part 5

So I'm back in work and feeling much better, the bleeding had pretty much stopped then all of sudden I nip to the loo and feel this big gush. I though nothing of it really but then it happend again and then again, each time totally soaking through a pad. I begin to worry that I've not seen the last of Ward X after all, but pray that I just stop bleeding. I start to stress a little but the shop is full of customers and I can't really stop to worry about things. At 4 o'clock I give up and ring Ward X who say to come straight in. I close the shop and head off to meet OH, we have to get a train home to get to the car, which we park at the station. By the time I'm at the station blood is soaking down my legs, I'm thankful for the black jeans I'm wearing. I try too look calm and unconcerned on the train and fail miserably, I try and sit on my coat as I'm worried about the poor bugger who cleans the train. We jump off at our station and I dont look back at the seat. We race back to good old Ward X. This time we don't have such a long wait which I'm gobsmacked about. Blood is pouring out of me onto the floor as I'm trying to get undressed for an examination, I'm apologising and crying. The nurse is sympathetic and calms me down, I'm so so grateful to her for being nice to me, she's the first person in a hospital who has been so. The few word of kindness she says mean so much and I wish more nurses could have been like her. I wonder later wether she knows the difference she makes and wether she notices that she's the only one. I'm examined which is really painful and am told that there is something left in the womb dispite the ultrasound telling me otherwise. I sit up and suddenly feel like i'm going to pass out and throw up, everything starts going black and they lay me down.

I'm admitted to the ward and hooked up to a saline drip, i'm told I'm going to need an emergency D&C and that they will fit me in as soon as possible and that I can't eat or drink anything. By now I feel so terrible that I don't care. Hours go by and I'm not bleeding so badly anymore, the evening comes and I'm told that someone else who is more of an emergency has come in and had the last surgery of the day. I'm dying to drink something and the nurses don't change the saline after it runs out unless I go out and find someone to change it. I can't sleep as I'm so thirsty. In the morning I'm offered tea and toast and water, 3 times each time telling them I'm still nil by mouth, by then it's been yesterday lunchtime since I ate or drank anything, I've never seen stewed tea and cardboard toast look so damn nice. Hours go by and everyone else is eating a delicious looking lunch and sipping iced water...bastards!

An older lady is admitted onto the ward who speaks no english, her daughters are with her. From the moment this entourage enter the ward all three of them are on mobile phones, gabbling in a forieign language loudly. They've brought an entire indian takeaway too, complete with several bottles of pop with them for mother to snack on. I've not eaten or drank for more than 24 hours, which makes me want to frankly strangle them all. I try and rest but the daughters are making a huge fuss that no one has seen their mother yet, I learn that the eldest daughter is a staff nurse and that her mother is suffering from heavy periods and that her blood count is 9, I've no idea what that means. She rings her mothers GP practice and says they have nearly killed her. The mother is pacing up and down with a onion bajee in one hand and a mobile phone in the other, still talking and looks a picture of health. I wonder how they can afford the mobile phone bills. Visiting times comes and OH arrives and tells me the kids are ok but everyone is worried. He's booted out and promptly at the end of visiting hours. I think about complaining as the trio have been on the ward all day disturbing everyone and have not been asked to leave once, but i'm too tired to even bother.

Evening meal comes and I don't even look up to see what everyone is eating, it smells like it has gravy with it, I feel like I'm going to punch someone if they forget and offer me it, luckily they don't. Finally about 8pm I'm wheeled down to surgery. I'm waiting in the corridor as there is the enevitable delay. The rather handsome anesthetist chats with me casually as we wait to go in, the first person I've met in a hospital who actually talks to me like a normal person. He asks me what I do and I tell him about my shop, he tells me that his girlfriend is training to be a midwife and will be on pretty good money once she qualifies, I say I've always wanted to be a midwife. He says I should go for it. I tell him I sell maquerade masks, he tells me how he's getting wined and dined by a company who sell a new type of mask for the theatre, he's already going to buy them but they don't know that so he's enjoying getting treated, they have a premier football box that he's currently borrowing, sounds pretty good to me. He reminds me that I should have blast on my asthma pump before we go in and assures me he's going to make sure I'm ok. Suddenly we are on the move again through double doors which suddenly feel like the gateway to hell. It looks like a TV set from some kind of medical drama with a giant light above the table. Suddenly I remember what they are going to do once I'm asleep and don't like the sound of it at all. I'm overcome with nerves and wish OH was here, the nurse holds my hand tight and tells me I'm going to be ok and I'm really grateful for her being so nice. They pop something in my hand and next second I wake up again. Very freaky...I had no sense of being asleep or time having gone by, I'm impressed that I don't feel sick and impressed with all the nice staff who seem to come from a different planet to the nurses back on the ward. I'm wheeled back on the ward and actually manage to get some sleep.

First thing in the morning the stewed tea, cardboard toast and iced water was mine at last and damn it actually all tasted wonderful after more that 36 hours without food or water. I got OH to come get me out asap and we went out for a huge carvery lunch, which really was just what the doctor ordered. Then back home to my own comfy bed..bliss.

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