Sunday, 6 September 2009


I arrived at the hospital at 9.30 as I'd been told to do, carrying a sick bucket as I was still throwing up. I'd hoped that we'd be on the bereavment ward but as soon as I arrived I heard crying babies, I went to hard knowing my baby was going to be born and knowing was never going to hear that sound. We were ushered into a little side room and told to wait. At least we had our own private toilet, which with having the runs and throwing up was pretty handy. At about 1 o'clock a nurse arrived to give a pessary, (which begged the question of why we had to arrive at 9.30am). I was getting a bit stressed with all the waiting and OH decided to read to me which was lovely, he has a really calming voice and the book was pretty interesting so it kept me from going out of my mind. I had to have two more tablets, (thankfully orally!) every 4 hours and by mid afternoon I got to have some morphine, which was crazy as I could barely get up to go to the loo, felt like I'd had waaay to much to drink. A few more rounds of tablets and the morphine had worn off and I got to have some gas and air. I was actually shocked that it really was as bad as a full term labour. OH gave up reading to me and played me some metal through our little MP3 player. It struck me at how awesome he is at times like these and how calm he keeps me, I just wished we'd been doing this some months later and waiting for a healthy newborn.
Isabella made her arrival at about 9.40pm, tiny but perfect. I'd been terrified at how she might look as she'd died some days before. She was very red as all babies at this age are and her skin was slightly starting to peel but she was still lovely. We wrapped her up in the little red and white blanket I'd bought a few weeks before and marvelled at how perfect her little feet and hand were.
My placenta didnt come away for a while and I ended up getting a shot of sytometrine, after which the midwife disappeared and never came back. Great!.....luckily I didnt bleed to death but delivered the placenta on my own which was sort of odd.
At about midnight another midwife came and brought some tiny clothes and a little hat for Isabella. She bathed her and dressed her and took her foot and hand prints. She brought a little keepsake box with a card to put the footprints in, two teddy bears and a blanket. We fell asleep with her in the crib beside us, looking for all the world like she was just sleeping.


  1. Beautiful, lovely little girl.
    I'm so terribly sorry.

  2. I don't know why I've not seen this before now, but wanted to say Isabella was a beautiful little baby. x

  3. I'm coming in very late, but so sad to read this. Wishing you all good things with the current pregnancy. xxh

  4. I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your precious Isabella. She is beautiful. It is so amazing that such tiny babies are so perfect. I can't get over that little foot.