Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Crashing and Burning

Just when I thought I was doing so well. I had a nice relaxing day booked off, the first one is ages as I was going along to my daughters school today. They had set up a really cute pizza restaurant, the kids had designed it all from the start, decided on the menu, made the food and even made a tv advert, very good for 7 year olds really. We all had to wait in the corridor before going in. There was the usual crowd of mums and as usual they all ignored me. One had the tiniest little newborn and another was pregnant and they were having the usual chat about babies and pregnancy and such. I moved away as I started feeling a little tearful and stood on the other end of the room. The pregnant lady was saying how she was 23 weeks, which is how far gone I was when I lost Isabella, and how she'd been buying clothes and bits and pieces bla bla. I almost wanted to run up to her and yell that she shouldn't be doing that and how she shouldn't take it for granted, everything started running through my head on fast forward. Instead I suddenly burst into tears and had to fight my way through the entire class of mums and dads, sobbing all the way and apologising. I must have looked like a right nutter, I'm even less likely to make friends with the yummy mummy lot now.... great...(not that it's such a big loss I suppose lol!)
Luckily one of the mums had just arrived who does speak to me and knew about Bella (she also lost a baby) stood outside and gave me a hug and calmed me down. Luckily I managed to pull myself together and go into school with a big fake smile on my face, but it was a very close call.
I've spent the rest of the day with the now familiar "on the verge of tears" feeling that I thought I'd left behind. *sigh*

4 comments:

  1. Oh Honey, huge hugs from me. Sometimes it just happens that way doesn't it?
    I hope you have a peaceful evening. Much love to you.x

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  2. So sorry this was your day. It is so hard to be around people who are so "innocent". Today at lunch a teacher was talking about her twin grandchildren. It really bothers me because they KNOW what happened with my twins. Anyway, I hope tomorrow is a happier day for you. xx

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  3. Oh that is just such an awful feeling and to have to push through everyone and not be able to just slip out just makes it all worse. I hope more of the mothers show you some compassion. I'm slowly getting to know the mums at the new school our boys are at but I'm sure many thought I was nuts, too, because I cried most of the first weeks at assemblies and meetings. The last time I'd been there was just days before George was born. Sending you love. If I lived closer we could link arms and cry or smile as the mood struck! (((Hugs))) ps - I loved the hat you posted before but don't think it ever took my comment - made me think of Johnny Depp actually. Or my aunt who is an artist.

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  4. Thank you all *big hugs* :)
    I suppose our blogs are our way of getting as close as we can to linking arms, crying and smiling together xxx

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