There is also OH's other cousin who has just had a new baby. She's the girl I love to hate. She's "the most popular girl in school type" she's skinny, attractive, has a great job, perfect "show home" house, perfect husband, is always lucky and is always wonderfully pleasant and nice. I've always been the fat one, the looser, the dropout, the weirdo, with the worst shitty luck in history who always does everything the wrong way and fucks everything royally up. I can't help but hate her and her smug perfect little life where nothing bad ever happens.
I wish I'd never had to get over child abuse, I wish I'd never had to get over teenage pregnancy and a horrific violent birth experience, I wish I'd never had to get over domestic violence, I wish I'd never had to get over loosing everything I owned in a stupid divorce, but most of all I wish I wasn't a dead baby momma, which I can't ever even begin to get over.
Anyway ...I'm not looking forward to the stupid party.