Thursday, 31 December 2009

Happy New Year, Goodbye 2009

Wow, I'm looking forward to getting this year over with! It's not all been bad but wow 2009 has really sucked.

I've had a great Christmas and got lots of lovely prezzies! I'm very pleased with my new set of furry slippers, I'm always freezing cold and I adore snuggly warm things :D Both the kids are with their grandparents for a week, the peace and quiet (and clean and tidy house) is actually quite nice. We went out to see Sherlock Holmes last night which was way better than I expected it to be, it's so cool to just go just leave the house..without having to plan the military operation that is organising babysitting and making sure everyone has eaten something before we go anywhere.

Bella would have been due tomorrow, I'm trying not to dwell too much on the should have beens. I feel slightly guilty that I've never visited Bella's grave but I can't quite bring myself to go. She's in an unmarked plot with all the other babies, I really wish I could have afforded a proper plot and a headstone. Maybe I'll go tomorow, maybe it will be too much, I don't know.

I feel a little bit strange at the moment, I can't put my finger what makes me think it, but I've got the slight inkling I might be pregnant. This would be a bit of a disaster as it'll mean I'll be puking everywhere and feeling like shite for the wedding, great. I wouldn't mind if there was a possibility I'd actually have a baby at the end of it but having lost the last 3 I'm really not too hopeful for that, it's probably going to be months of feeling terrible with the inevitable hospital trip at the end....great. Anyway, it's probably just paranoia and my period isn't even due until the 8th of January. I've not got any symptoms or anything so I'm probably just getting worked up over nothing. We really should be a little more careful in all honesty. My silly husband-to-be does the whole "sleep sex" thing now and again and it was really bad timing. I was just thinking that it sounds like something off the front of one of those cheap trashy magazines "My Husband Got Me Pregnant In His Sleep!!" when lo and behold it actually WAS on the cover of one of the trashy magazines in Tesco which made me crack up lol!

1 comment:

  1. Sending you loads of love, will be thinking of you and Bella tomorrow. And as for your instincts, I'll be waiting with baited breath and waiting to see you on the cover of one of those magazines!
    Seriously though, I hope it turns out to be exactly what you wish it to be.x