Friday, 11 December 2009

New NICE Guidlines

Once again there was a discussion about baby loss on Radio 4 this morning, the last few times I switched the radio on thats what the discussion was about. I'm sure they never did before I lost Bella...or maybe they did and I just never noticed. Anyway, apparently NICE have brought out new guidelines saying that mothers "should not be routinely encouraged to see or hold their babies after death". I suppose everyone is different but I would have hated never to have seen or held Bella, I'm glad we had that time with her. I'm glad we took pictures and footprints and wrapped her in the blanket we had bought for her and kept her with us until the next morning. I was not sure before hand, I knew that she had been dead a few days by the time she was born and I was afraid of what she was going to look like. Luckily I was on a few homebirth and student midwife groups and got to ask midwives what to expect.
The full guideline say something totally different to the guidelines in the short version, this is a petition to get it changed to be more clear


  1. Oh. My. God. I'm so with you. If I hadn't held George I would be a COMPLETE basket case now. I really would. I think it needs to be up to the parents, not some "experts" and their opinions. I've met grandmothers who had stillborns here in Canada in the 60s and 70s and never got to hold their stillborns. They each - on their own - have shared that they would try to imagine their babies, were tormented at not knowing what they looked like, and would try to guess what their weight felt like in their arms. They would carry dolls or objects to imagine. THAT is better than holding your child and loving them???? *Shudder* Thanks for highlighting this issue. (((Hugs)))

  2. Yikes. I can't imagine not holding my baby. My daughter wasn't still born, so I can't understand that piece of this. She died in my arms and I held her for as long as I could after she was gone. It's love, not morbid or anything else others who can't understand are afraid of. I thought this was an antiquated discarded idea in the profession. There's research now that supports the claim that holding our babies can be beneficial for the mother. Peace.

  3. Yeh it's crazy, the full wording says "women should not be encouraged to hold their dead baby if they do not wish to” wish is totally different to the one in the short text which missed out "if they do not wish to" how are health professionals supposed to make sense of it! Of course is up to the parents what they do, but I think most parents don't really know what they want to do when suddenly faced with something so terrible. My OH said he really didn't want to see her, but was glad that he had afterwards. I worry this will be taken the wrong way by professionals and babies will be whisked away unless parents state otherwise.