I've finally got brave enough to post on the Sands Forum. For some reason I've been terrified of posting there and every time I've gone to post I had an attack of feeling incredibly pathetic. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I'm in good company there. I'm shocked though at the stories...just how many people there are. What also got to me was how many people were getting rubbish care. Not just medical guys being insensitive or generally crap but some totally not doing their job at all. There were alot of people not getting midwife visits at home after the birth..sorry but that just seems utterly utterly crazy. I'm honestly considering setting up a campaign to improve services for bereaved parents. Not anything special but just that there should be the same standard of care. The guidelines are all there but it seems to me that they are pretty much ignored. Well I suppose that goes across the board with people being kept in storage cupboards ect but still!
Here are just some of the things I would bitch about from my experience:-
What exactly is the point of having a "bereavement suit" in a hospital and then making the women with the dead babies give birth on a side room of a ward filled with newborns. I spent the whole time in hospital listening to crying newborns which was categorically not fun. Apparently there was a "staffing problem"
Midwives really should attend still births properly, just because there is no danger of babies being any more dead than they already are does not mean you can spend the whole thing having a nice cup of tea in the corridor. Not only was there no midwife with me at all until Bella was actually being born. I had a retained placenta and was left to my own devices after a syntometrine shot to try and remove it. I know I want to train as a midwife but this is not really the kind of work experience I was planning. Scrabbling around trying to find something to put a placenta in is not generally considered the best thing for people to be doing right after having given birth.
"counselling" should take place somewhere where said dead baby mother does not have to sit in a waiting room with all the happy pregnant people. Maybe?? Is there not anywhere else is a whole huge hospital where this could take place? I pretty much exploded with snot and tears and was trying to apologise to the surrounding horrified audience of green note clutching pregnant mothers who looked at me with utter distain. Public humilation, just what a grieving mother needs to help her feel better.
I wouldn't be so bothered if it was just me, but it's clearly not. I had fire in my belly and was all ready to organise a campaign to raise standards to make sure babylost mothers were treated properly. I've helped run a successful campaign in Wales which ended with a change in the law the protected mothers feeding in public places, hooray, so I know I could do something and how to go about doing it. Then it was pointed out to me that someone hoping for a career in the NHS might do well not to start a large public campaign complaining about their service. Good point I said....dammit :(