Wednesday, 26 May 2010

The Waiting Game

Man, this is not easy. I feel like I'm a person waiting to miscarry rather than a pregnant woman. Blegh. I feel shitty already, my heart is racing the whole time and I'm shaky and having mild trippy visual effects already so it honestly does not look so good. I just honestly hope that if this one is not going to make it that it happens sooner rather than later.
I have money put aside this time, not for a cot or a pram or handmade cotton nappies but just in case we need to pay for a funeral if I get that far. Dammit if anything happens this time I want this baby to have it's own grave, with a proper headstone and everything, I really regret not having any money to sort this out for Isabella.

In less miserable news. I've just started a new job as a regional sales manager, self employed and hopefully I'll be starting agency work in a nursing home in the next few weeks. Hmm toileting old ladies and morning sickness may not be the best combination though so we will see how that goes lol! :P As I've got a couple of days off I've decided to paint my bedroom at long last, a lovely shade of duck egg blue. It's taking forever and half the plaster has just fallen off one wall but I'm soooooo pleased to get rid of the peach floral horror wallapaer for good ,hooray! :D

3 comments:

  1. Oh honey, yes I understand those thoughts of preparing for a possible funeral when other pregnant women are looking at baby clothes. I often imagine how this baby's name would look on Florence's headstone, in the spaces we left for our names.
    PAL is shitty, I wish I could tell you otherwise.
    Just one day at a time is all any of us can do, and I'm holding you and your little bean in my heart and hoping. x

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  2. Hoping for you. That second sentence just broke my heart.

    Hooray for duck egg blue replacing evil peach monstrosity and yay for the new job.

    Was just thinking of you earlier today as Jessica and I were watching My Neighbour Totoro! First time she's seen it and the first totoro appearance caused much giggling! x

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  3. Congrats on the new baby and hoping it all goes well and the morning sickness lifts soon for you (especially before you have to help with old ladies). Thinking of you and sending you love. The duck egg blue sounds so pretty. xo

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