OH asked the big question last night, "is this really worth it, maybe we shouldn't do this" which led to me crying for about 3 hours. I can't bear the thought of deliberately getting rid of a baby that we so so badly want. I also can't bear the thought of being so disabled for months and months and then not having a live baby either, just last last time. We came to the conclusion that we should wait until we go back and see the professor next Wednesday and see if there is anything we can do medication wise to make me feel a bit better. Then take it from there. I'm so angry that I wasn't more careful, I knew that this could happen and that I would get so ill again. All the options I have are bad ones and I don't know what to do.