Sunday, 23 January 2011


I've been following Wiseguy's blog since the beginning of her pregnancy as she was due only a few weeks after me. I've just heard that her precious little Lola has died...the universe is endlessly cruel. Please send love and support her way xxx

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Indulging in Shopping :D

I am totally skint, but what is a student overdraft for :P I've treated myself and Kira to a few really lovely things! 2 super cool breastfeeding tops from Mama Feels Good I'm so chuffed they have these in size 18 to fit me :D

I also got some lovely lovely new moisturiser, Steamcream - check out the awesome tin, rainbows dammit! it's made from lovely natural ingredients and is only £10! It's very similar to very expensive natural creams I have bought for 3 times as much

For Kira I have bought some super cute lil nappies from Babykind! This cherry one is a Tinifit AIO from Tots Bots which I'm sure will be grown out of in a few weeks but it's just sooo cute!

Also two wraps one Nature Babies in plain pink and a Weehugger in lush designer fabric :D

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Kira's Birth Story

I'm trying to type this between constant breastfeeding :D [Edit : this has taken 4 days lol!]

So when Monday came I really expected to be told to come in on a different day or something but they said come straight in for 9am. We were put on a bay with 3 other women getting induced at the same time. They did some monitoring of her heart for half an hour which was nice and reassuring. Then I had a dose of a prostaglandin pessary and another half an hour of monitoring. We chilled out watching stuff on the laptop, (managed to get through almost all of the latest series of Dexter lol!). Although they had stupid signs saying that we could not plug anything in as it was theft of electricity, grr! Luckily our nice midwife let us off, we popped out for some lunch and I did lots of walking up the stairs to try and get something going but I had not so much as a twinge., By the time we got to 3 o'clock all the other ladies had gone to delivery and all I was getting was irregular tightenings. The midwife came back to do another trace on the monitor and she was positioning it just where she had been earlier and there was silence, she moved it round to the other side and still total silence. Time just stopped right then...I couldn't even breathe. She moved the monitor around and it was still silent. All I could think of is that that was the exact same thing that happened with Isabella, with the midwife saying how she'd probably just moved a bit and that she would find a heartbeat any second now. Then she moved the monitor right down low and there it was, her heartbeat happily away...I swear I have never been so relieved in all my life. I'm sure it was just for a few seconds but it felt like forever and I was really really shaken and had a bit of a cry.
All of the upset seemed to get things going though and all of a sudden I was having contractions coming every minute, so I was checked again and the midwife could break my waters. Heavy duty contractions kicked in straight away every minute and we got moved to the delivery suite for some nice gas and air. I got a gym ball to bounce away on and things were progressing pretty quickly. I got to that horrible stage where you just can't cope at all with the pain any more and was checked and I was only 6cm. I was totally gutted as I was convinced that it must be really soon. I got on the bed on all fours and hung on to the back of the bed for dear life. It seemed like forever and I was totally not coping at all. Now with all my other babies I have never had pain once I got to the pushing bit, and the contractions totally changed. This time it just didn't happen, I felt like I should be pushing but it just didn't feel right. I was in so much pain I didn't know what to do with myself. I ended up feeling like I wanted to lie down and as I turned over she finally started to make an appearance. Was so weird though as I still didn't have any pushy feeling contractions at all I had to really make an effort to push myself and she came fairly slowly. They popped her straight onto my chest after she was born, but she didn't start breathing. I was panicking so much as they were resuscitating her but she soon starting doing some proper crying after a few seconds. They handed her back and me and DH had tears in our eyes, we couldn't believe she was here at last and all ok.
Her little head was moulded all to one side so I think she was a little bit stuck for a little while which would explain why it felt so odd with her not moving down so easily. I was a bit disappointed not to have delivered her on all fours but I think the rolling over got her to turn that little bit. I got a labial tear and a second degree perineal tear which I decided not to get stitched as it was pretty small. I've found healing much more comfy than all the stitches I had with the first two babies, I got off very lightly this time! Labour didn't kick off really until 5pm and she was delivered at 9.55 so can't really grumble about that, didn't need to have anything other than the first pessary either which was awesome!

We are so so relieved that she is here and safe and well, I feel like we have just won the lottery!! I just always had the feeling that lightning could strike twice, I could never picture her being here, I'm just amazed and so grateful. For all my happiness though I remember that there were others who started this journey at the same time and never got to have their happy ending. That there were so many babies on this same say and every day that don't make it. I hold her close and fully understand just how lucky I am xxx

Wednesday, 12 January 2011


Tired, sore and...... blissfully, blissfully happy!
Baby Kira, born 9.55 Monday evening 6lb 13oz, live and kicking :D

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Game On

So one more day to go. Today has not been too fun, I've spent most of it trying to get stuff sorted out and getting really angry with everyone for either not helping or not doing things right and just generally freaking out as nothing is quite right. The new bed never arrived so we are still sleeping on the floor and the electrics have just blown up in my daughters room and there is still no heating in the kitchen and arghhh!! I'm just so damn worried about coming home empty handed from the hospital, I just can't picture a happy ending, I can't let myself even think about it in case it's not how it ends up. I tried comforting myself with how reading stuff about how rare stillbirth/neonatal death is, which was a bad plan as 17 babies a day in the UK die every day. Now I'm no statistician but if they were the odds for winning the lottery we'd all be pretty excited. So much of the baby stuff is Isabella's and I have left it until now to actually go through everything and sort it all out ready, I almost feel bad that someone else is going to use "her stuff" So I ended up spending most of the afternoon crying my eyes out in bed which is thankfully something I've not done for a few months now. I feel better now tho and much more calm, maybe it was a good idea to just let it all out so I can just get on with everything tomorrow.

I've been having the most horrible vivid nightmares for the last few weeks, mostly just random weird stuff. But last night I was dreaming that I was about to play a game with the grim reaper, it was kinda like that bit in Bill and Ted's Bogus journey except the reaper looked more like I imagine the Terry Pratchett version, I think Binky was even hanging around in the background somewhere too. Clearly we have been playing this game for many years now and although I got cocky with the first two games which I had won, he won the next 3 in a row with effortless ease. Behind him were lots and lots of little baby coffins piled up and I was scanning them trying to find the one that looked like Isabella's. Of course now we are going to play again for the very last time. I was trying to reason with him saying that a 3 all draw would really be a nice way to end, "call it a draw and I'll call it quits", he sat back in his chair and just shook his head and said "wouldn't be any fun if it was that easy now would it". I told him there was no way he was going to win this round and I slammed my hands down on the table and screamed "bring it on!"

So game on.... game on indeed.

Monday, 3 January 2011

Finished Work At Last :D

Ahhhh, I am now attempting to put my feet up and not do last shift was on Friday and I got all my paperwork completed and signed off. I'm pretty damn proud that I made it :D
Only trouble is that the house is a total tip, it looks like a Chrismassy themed bomb has exploded so I suspect that my plan for relaxing will have to be replaced with a plan to clean this place up! Honestly it is so bad that I'm considering signing back up to It's a life organisation/cleaning rota thingy that basically emails you to clean stuff up and chuck stuff out. It's great and of course it works but I get all rebellious after a bit and quit hehe! I'm like nooooo you silly fat fly freak I am not going to shine my dammed sink I am going to sit on the sofa drinking tea and surfing the net so bleeeeghhhhhh!!! But then of course the house ends up in a mess again which is always miserable. Having a half finished kitchen and bathroom does not help mind as there are still tools and kitchen doors and random half painted walls everywhere so the place looks a mess even when it is tidy. We are a long way off from babyproof!
Despite the mess I had a great Christmas, I am typing from under my new snuggly minky blanket, wearing new fluffy slipper it! I also got bought a really awesome new vintage style red kettle and toaster, which just happened to be the ones I really wanted and didn't think I was gonna get as they were expensive ones. I've had the same kettle and toaster since uni days first time around which is like 13 years ago!
So it's just one last week to go until baby time, I'm feeling super huge and tired and am trying to just enjoy this last week. Nothing has gone wrong so far but I can't help feeling like my luck will run out at some point *sigh* Baby is lying back to back at the moment which could lead to a long grumbly labour so I'm trying to spend lots of time on all fours to get her to roll around a bit. Been reading the spinning babies website a bit for tips but I'm not sure how much it really will help. I suppose the baby will come out one way or another and all I'm really hoping for is a live and kicking baby! 7 more days!