Thursday, 30 June 2011

So ..back to work

I've had a call from a very lovely childminder, who is willing to charge a retainer of 16 hours per week which means that going back to Uni is back on! So I've been contemplating the changes this will mean. Kira still does not enjoy being with anyone else but me and very strongly protests even if I leave her with Daddy for a few minutes. I'm worrying a little bit and probably need to start letting Daddy have more time with her and get her used to someone else having cuddles. I'm hoping to first start going to the childminders just to have playtime, then maybe start leaving her for an hour at a time and hopefully not have too much distress by the time I'm back in full time Uni.
While I was at the local children's centre I happened to mention to one of the staff about ways to ease children into childcare. Her helpful advice was that children should be left at least an hour a day on their own so they learn independence and that you should achieve this with controlled crying. I was a bit taken aback that they were advocating leaving babies unsupervised for any length of time let alone an hour every day! I told her that that was not the sort of thing I was considering and then she told me that I would be putting my child through "torture" by leaving her with a childminder if I had not "broken her attachment". That was it and I nearly bit her head off and had to go cool down for a bit before I said something I was going to regret! I have no intention of "breaking" my childs attachment to me and I certainly will not be leaving her alone and unsupervised to cry. Now I've calmed down a little I think it must have been a personal opinion rather than some sort of policy they have, but this woman is fully trained in childcare as she was giving us examples based on her professional experience. I'm half tempted to write to the centre and suggest perhaps they need to train their staff better!
Anyway, I could rant on all day about how wrong that kind of approach is but I have to say I'm still wondering what is the best approach to take. I was lucky enough to not have to go to work with the others until they were 18 months old and they were more than happy and very ready to go with someone else by that point. But poor Kira will be 9 months old when I go back, which was the peak clingy time with my other two, the exact time they scream when you leave the room. What is the best way to ease the transition? Any suggestions for gentle way of getting her ready anyone?


  1. JESUS. What a horrible thing to say.
    I'm impressed you managed not to bite her head off :)

    No useful advice except that I do think speaking to whoever is in charge about that 'advice' might really be a good idea. Gawd, what if she said that to some poor woman who thought she was RIGHT?????????

    Yay on the childminder though :)

  2. "Breaking the attatchment.." So sad, she thinks like that, I wonder how many people follow her advice?

  3. Wish I had some advice but seeing as I have no living children this one is beyond my scope. I did, however, want to wish you luck on starting back to work. I hope you find that the transition is easier than you are anticipating.